To Belong

Fate suffered a true folly,

To birth me where I was,

Born backwards to life,

Ripped from incubation.

What winds blew wildly,

What darkness played?

To have tricked the fate,

And to birth me here.

I find myself alone too often,

None seem to understand ever,

The path the lays before me,

And the path I choose to follow.

This is home? Surely should be,

This land where I first walked,

But every step I take beyond,

I find a world far more foreign.

I know not why I am here,

Must be an accident surely,

A terrible hand dealt to me,

Forever suffering fate's mistake.

Perhaps some solace could be found,

If the wings of the angel wrapped me,

Around my fearful being and hold me,

As if I truly do belong here, somewhere.

But that solace is a mystery to me,

The angels flew far away, beyond,

I seek no harm nor malice to them,

Yet they fly further away, from sight.

All I’ve lived is with a shivering cold,

Which grips my soul under my skin,

And freezes me whole with a curse,

A curse that leaves me an outsider.

A foreigner in the land I was born,

A stranger to the souls I've touched,

My curse knows no word of remorse,

It seeks to torture me into oblivion.

And torture me it has so very much,

Cursing me to stare and fantasize,

At the simple joy of the anonymous,

The true happiness of lovers together.

My eyes have been forced to see,

Hundreds and thousands of souls,

Holding hands and knowing bliss,

Holding a gaze and seeing heaven.

I likely shall never know what it feels to be,

When an angel who holds my dead heart,

Looks in my eyes which are absent soul,

And tell me that we truly belong together.

I know I’ll never know what it means,

To smile a smile shared by my heart,

I can only imagine that true happiness,

As I see it on the faces of all around me.

But somewhere, it’s alright I suppose,

Birthed in a place I do not belong to,

Even the angels find me an invisible,

And a cold curse runs under my skin.