Immune

The world around me,
Holds firm one belief,
That you exist above,
The god in the clouds.

I could never bring myself,
To believe the empty words,
Which came from nowhere,
Which came from nothing.

But nevertheless the world believes,
They believe that you would protect,
No matter the severity of the danger,
They turn to you when none listen.

I swear it, what I say is true,
Your existence I don't believe,
But the world says you listen,
Even to the lostest of all souls.

Well then if you're there, 'Lord',
Hear my words as I speak them,
I hope they echo for all eternity,
Within the ears driving you mad.

Do whatever you wish to do,
I do not care anymore now,
They say you write our lives,
Why do you write as you do?

My life, belongs to me, its mine,
They call you the maker of all,
Under that illusion you gave me,
I will do with it as I will see fit.

All you've ever written for me,
Has always been a tale of anger,
A tale of loss and disappointment,
A tale of endless mortal torture.

The world says you conjure miracles,
I must concede that to be golden truth,
I have suffered the wrath of them all,
How you caused them to destroy me.

Life has shown me the miracles,
Which has prevented everything,
With the potential of happiness,
Into achieving its true capabilities.

You have always mangled my mind,
Writing my life absent your 'mercy',
You've sent 'angels' within my story,
Truly wondrous, beautiful creatures.

They show me such amazing sights,
Only to wake me up and crush me,
I see with the 'angels' around me,
Happiness to make the soul cry.

But you, in your 'infinite wisdom',
Prevent those visions and mirages,
Into ever forming within reality,
Why show them if I can't live them?

Perhaps if my intentions were vile,
I would understand my failures,
But I have no such desires to deserve,
Such a cold and inhuman prison cell.

You surround me with happiness,
Within all those who I have with me,
But yet you prevent that same bliss,
From ever coming close to my soul.

Hear my words, you insane child,
Do what you wish to do with me,
My patience has finally been lost,
Do whatever your sick mind wishes.

You wish to dangle happiness?
Do what you want to do to me,
I'll never ever believe anything,
I'll never ever believe what I see.

You give me the promise of love,
And you've never fulfilled that,
You've caused me to stumble,
At every step and crush me.

Hear these words, I'll never believe it,
You've taught me something I value,
Never believe the ones around me,
Never believe what my eyes show.

From now on all I'll ever see,
Shall always be the darkest,
So dark you cannot see within,
Your light has no place here!

So tell me, you vengeful 'forgiver',
Now that I know, I have nothing,
Nothing written for me sees bliss,
How will you disappoint me now?

Limbo

The day you took my heart,
I gave it to you so willingly,
You could see it so infected,
By the darkness all around.

Your eyes held a promise,
A promise to rid the dark,
A promise to cure the heart,
A promise, to feel the light.

You held my heart close to yours,
And you showed me my strength,
You taught me the means to use it,
Against the darkness rooted deep.

The happening was a miracle,
The darkness had been defeated,
The sun shone brightly in the sky,
My spirit was basking in the glow.

Night was sure to follow at sunset,
The sun hidden beyond the horizon,
The night rode swiftly with darkness,
And darkness crawled around again.

You held my heart close to yours,
And I let the darkness do its worst,
The darkness which made me home,
Was unable to touch our mystic aura.

The darkness failed and light had won,
Your eyes which held that sacred vow,
Saw it fulfilled and showed me light,
Beyond the darkness that shadowed.

As the sun rose again to spread light,
The sunrays shone on me once more,
My spirit felt such wonderful bliss,
And angel, you have all my gratitude.

I watched the sun rise above the hill,
It truly was such a beauty to behold,
Angel, come here, do you see the sun?
The question remained unanswered.

I turned my head to look for you,
But you were no longer with me,
My eyes searched the landscape,
But you were nowhere in sight.

Angel, where have you gone?
I looked back towards the sun,
Angel, you still hold my heart,
Angel, where have you gone?

I looked at the sun and realized,
I realized that it was all a facade,
The sun, it rises not in the east,
My face is looking towards west.

I knew the world beyond my eyes,
Was a trick you played so perfectly,
You took my heart and left me here,
In this false world you've shown me.

You've resigned me to search,
For the way out of this maze,
Condemning me for the now,
Within your mystical shadow.

Home

Behind my closed eyes,
I travel worlds away,
Deep in the dark caves,
Of my own clouded mind.

The world I seek in my mind,
The world that I made home,
Shows me a world so different,
To the world I walk with you.

As my mind drifts away,
I feel the sorrows lighten,
I feel the wounds recover,
I feel the heart renewed.

As my mind takes me away,
To the world I call my home,
Only to see you waiting for me,
Bearing a beautiful smile for me.

It truly is lovely seeing you here,
Where our reality has no standing,
Seeing you smile so sweetly for me,
Home is only where I see that sight.

Even though I always remember,
In the world I freely leave behind,
That sight falls upon another's eyes,
But it matters not to me anymore.

This place is my home,
Reality has no say here,
The pain and sorrows,
Are far from my home.

I am here with you and I feel bliss,
Happiness that exists in fairy tales,
I found between your palm and mine,
As I gripped it the way I wish I could.

None of this is real,
My eyes shall open,
And home will vanish,
And bliss will vanish.

I never wish to leave here,
Home has everything I need,
I can see it in your bright eyes,
Love I so wish you had for me.

It exists here! At home!
The world I built myself,
Worlds away from reality,
Which always burned me.

But the world will vanish,
Into the clouds from which,
I had created it so carefully,
I created it with my heart.

As I awake in the world,
Where reality clutches me,
The wounds bleed afresh,
The sorrows weigh as heavy.

As I breathe in the real world,
I feel the bliss long evaporated,
And replaced with a memory,
Which I forgot while at home.

I will never be fortunate to see,
The smile you had worn at home,
As reality bears down on my back,
I know you won't see me as I see you.

Healed

I would never call my path,
The path of righteousness,
It never ever was a path,
Carved by love for gods.

The path I walked behind me,
Truly was an accursed path,
Flooded with pain and evil,
Filled with darkness and fear.

A distant decade ago I fell first,
Felled by the strongest of magic,
It struck deep in my frail soul,
And shook the very foundations.

The witch drained my spirit,
Of everything that held beauty,
And replaced it with pure hatred,
For everything in the surrounding.

But today, I find that hatred dispersed,
A mere thought of that disguised witch,
Would cause my feet to lose their strength,
But today, I remember not even her face.

How could I not call it a miracle?
That vile spirit tore my soul apart,
And now I find it rejuvenated afull,
And that hatred replaced with love.

Five cold winters have passed,
Since my path found upon it,
Another devious spirit of hell,
This was perhaps the strongest.

No mortal spread across history,
Could ever hope to resist this one,
Even the gods would fear such evil,
Evil that would possess the heart.

The heart would feel wonderful in the start,
Happiness that could never be dreamt of,
Perhaps that's how this villain gains power,
Tricking the heart with untrue happiness.

Once I was euphoric with the joy,
It had infected my heart complete,
I had little hope to survive the fall,
Once the monster ripped it away.

The fall was hard and sharp,
My heart was hurled to land,
What else could a heart do?
Other than crash and crumble.

But today I find my heart repaired,
Cracked? Yes, but free of the dark,
Free of the hold the devil had on me,
Free to hear why you'd wish to save it.

Two summers have crawled by,
Since the darkness sent another,
To attack my already damaged path,
Another demon to corrupt the mind.

My mind believed it was ready for this,
Never had it been so severely mistaken,
This form of darkness held new powers,
The power of fear and the power of doubt.

As she used fear to inflict paralysis,
I was helpless as she spread the cloud,
That dark cloud of doubt spread deep,
Into the furthest corners of my mind.

My mind corrupted by doubt and fear,
Lost all the might it once held closely,
And my judgement, fatally impaired,
Every second brutally tested my sanity.

But today I find sunrays break the cloud,
The fear which had once held me stiff,
Shook off me like a dusty old blanket,
The fear was defeated by your grace.

The doubt which corrupted my mind,
Has evaporated into the distant past,
The doubt was defeated by your words,
The doubt lost to your brilliant presence.

Today, I find myself, healed,
From the three great evils,
Which had possessed me,
My heart, spirit and mind.

But forgive me, you angelic lass,
I must ask what you plan to do,
Now that I find myself healed,
Since I found you on my path

All But Lost

Five springs have passed,
Since that day of error,
Since the arrow struck me,
It penetrated deep into spirit.

I can barely remember the day,
But I can never ever forget it,
That day changed everything,
It changed how I see the world.

I remember a shadow of a past,
A past I no longer can remember,
I remember the day of incident,
Which would ripple to today.

Today seems nothing more than,
Chaos courted by drunken Gods,
Insanity preached by the Monks,
And pain caused by the God of Love.

Just as the greeks launched,
A thousand ships for Helen,
Cupid shot in my direction,
A thousand arrows for her.

How could I resist his barrage?
Is there any mortal able enough?
The arrows released by the Gods,
The wounds still feel fresh as ever.

I don't know what the future holds,
But life has taught me long before,
Hope would preach disappointment,
Prayers would fall on stone ears.

I don't know what the future holds,
But if the trend of today carries on,
If the wounds of today burn tomorrow,
I shall believe the Gods have no love.

No love for the human race,
No love for the purest soul,
No mercy for those suffering,
No release for those in pain.

I don't know who shall listen,
I don't know if these words,
Will ever change what happens,
But I shall yet cling on to hope.

Even as the arrows continue to sting,
And drain the soul of its divine spirit,
I will see the light overpower darkness,
Even if I do cling on to a fool's hope.

Denial

I cannot give you a reason,
To believe the words I say,
Simply because I have none,
Other than I can feel the truth.

I cannot explain to you what you are,
The words cannot be found anywhere,
No language spread across Blue Earth,
Can say how fantastic you really are.

I cannot explain to you why,
I see you the way I do see you,
Charm isn't limited to the face,
And you are the brightest beacon.

I cannot understand why you laugh,
When I carefully pluck words for you,
You say often I flatter you far too much,
See yourself through my eyes, its too less.

I cannot express the bond that's shared,
All I know is that with your presence near,
It feels nothing further than the feel of home,
It feels as if my soul was rewarded redemption.

I cannot know how you see me,
Yes, you've told me several times,
You do not see me as I see you,
But again I just do not know why.

I just refuse to believe that,
Its not out of my free will,
I don't think I'll ever know,
But I just can't believe that.

I bear nothing but the sincerest,
The sincerest of all intentions,
The future will always be unseen,
I know not what awaits beyond.

But, still. Let me clarify for you,
All that I will ever want for you,
Is just to make you smile, always,
So you may say I made you happy.

I can't explain why I have this in me,
Perhaps another form of selfishness,
That makes me chase after the title,
Of he who made you the happiest.