Silence Broken

What I say is not what I want,
Life has been a burden to me,
You came a long and freed it,
You stayed and fixed my core.

You say you wish to leave this and explore,
I say go if you wish I shall never prevent you,
You smiled and thanked me for the response,
Thanked me for putting no pressure upon you.

Those words were spoken by me, but they were not mine,
Those words did leave my mouth, but not from my heart,
My heart’s voice was drowned out, by the despair in its throat,
Before we met, before we talked, I hated this world for its sins.

I may say go be happy, but I cry “stay find happiness with me”,
What I say may not always be the same as the words in my heart,
Though I defend my words to the death, I lie to myself to the death,
I shall never prevent you from leaving, but I don’t want you to leave.

The words “us against the world” did bring new life to my heart,
We’ll make it work I swore to you, that swear I shall keep forever,
Today you think about leaving, I shall not prevent you from your path,
Yet my muffled heart does scream, stay here please don’t leave.

You may hear the cries of my heart and question me,
I shall lie to you and say, “I didn’t speak a word”,
How I wish you wouldn’t believe me, and stay,
We barely took off and you wish to end this.

The times we spoke made me thank the gods,
For placing a pure soul upon this accursed earth,
But now you wish to leave, did I commit a sin?
Did I blaspheme? Or has god no mercy upon me?

I say again, leave if you wish, I shan’t stop you,
But I say again, don’t believe the words I speak,
For my heart is crying for you to stay here with me,
Don’t listen to me I pray you don’t and stay here.